Birthday At Work

“Message to everybody who was born in June. Please go to the 11th floor at 1pm today.”

This was the instant message I saw when I went into work last Friday. It sounds dodgy, right?

Well anyway, I wasn’t asked to leave my glasses, shoes and other belongings at the door, so I went in. After getting in and seeing cakes and a horde of people in the room I found out that the company celebrates birthdays en masse. Once a month people come together to celebrate, and I just so happen to have been born in June.

Once we’d all sat down at the large table, Happy Birthday was put on. It was a particularly vile recording with a xylophone and a toddler. Something about young children singing really gives me the creeps. After about 1 verse people were too self conscious to sing along, so for the remaining three verses people sat awkwardly, waiting for the nightmare toddler to finish its ghastly rendition.

Once this was out of the way, a selection of gifts was left on the table for people to pick and choose from, ranging from iPhone cases, to USB fans, through to cuddly toys. Unfortunately I was slow on the uptake and missed out on the cuddly toys. Given the zealous gleam in my 30+ year old teddy clutching female colleague’s eyes, I should imagine they went first.

By the time I’d gone to take a gift, all that was left were iPhone cases and picture frames. Since I don’t have an iPhone, I took a picture frame. I don’t have the lexical capacity to describe how kitsch and sickly it is, so I just took a picture of it!


Still, it was free, so I’ll take it! I was thinking about maybe putting a group shot of Slipknot or N.W.A in it. Any thoughts?


About Greg

A simpleton from West Yorkshire, England living in Beijing. I try to document the oddities, frustrations and funnies that happen to me whilst out here. Hopefully you enjoy reading these little episodes as much as I enjoy writing them.
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